We’re talking about how to love. One of the difficulties we’ve come up against is the whole issue of REAL LOVING is that love, true love, is putting the other person in place of yourself. It is laying down your own life for theirs. That’s what that famous quotation says, “Greater love has no man than this, than a man lay down his life for his friends.”
What we’ve been saying is that real love as opposed to shallow superficial love, is convincing the other person that you really would be willing to lay down your life for them if that was necessary. True love is putting the other person in place of yourself. It is laying all your abilities and all your resources at their disposal instead of at your own. It is placing them before yourself.
What we have been sharing is that most of us have real trouble loving like that because we wonder, “If we do that — if we devote all our energies and all our abilities to this friend or to our friends or our colleagues at work or to our fellow students or husbands or wives or our children — and leave no attention or interest to give to ourselves — then who will look after us? What will happen to us?”
We can tell love that is false.
Many of us see that as a very real problem. That’s one of the reasons we often do calmly and coolly and intellectually try to devote a fair bit of love to ourselves and then give what’s left over to other people.
Of course what comes home to most of us from that kind of action by you is a feeling that, “You don’t really love us. Normally you don’t really show love that is true. You actually just give us the dregs of your care that are left over after you have taken care of yourself. Actually, we all become convinced that you care for yourself most of all and first of all. If the chips were down and it was either you or us, it would always be you that you would choose.”
That’s why most of us feel unloved or partially loved in our world –because we have all tried to define love according to that kind of view of life and of ourselves, instead of defining love as the great classicists define it, putting the other person in place of yourself. But the reason, we suggested, that many of us are unable to do that is because we feel, “There’s no one to look after us.”
Who did Einstein think would care for him?
We have been answering of course, that the greatest intellect of our age, Albert Einstein, believed that there was Someone to look after us. He put it very plainly. He said that there is an order and design in the universe that can only come from an intellectual mind. The design can only come from a personal will. And then he said, “My religion consists of a humble admiration for the illimitable superior Spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds.”
Order and design all around and in us
We’ve been sharing that that is the attitude of all sane, intelligent, unprejudiced men and women who look at our universe and see the order and design that is built into the seasons and built into the capacity of the blood to carry so many substances around our body without turning into sludge. It’s the design and order that we see in the seasons that succeed one another year after year in the same way.
It’s the order and design that is evident in the movement of the birds south when winter comes. It’s the evidence of design that we see in Outer Space itself. It’s that evidence of design that is all around us that convinces us that, of course, there has to be a personal mind behind the universe.
In fact, we’ve said that that has always been the attitude of people down through the years. It is innate in man to look at the universe and immediately to think as he thinks about everything else, “Who put that there?”
Imagine what you’d think in this situation.
Really, in a way, if you just take a simple illustration, it comes home to your own mind as realistic. You need to think of this yourself if you have been wondering whether there is a God, or whether there is a Creator, or whether there is a Maker or not. Because the truth is, let’s imagine you getting up in the morning and you walk outside your front door. There you find a solid gold Cadillac, or you find a 650 Honda parked at your door.
Immediately, you know what occurs to your mind. You don’t immediately say, “Hmmm. What explosion could have created this?” You don’t! You don’t immediately say, “Ah! This solid gold Cadillac must be here as a result of a Big Bang that has occurred.” You know fine well that the big bangs that occur in places like Ireland do not create solid gold Cadillacs. They create destruction. In fact, big bangs do not create. They do the opposite. They destroy.
And so, your mind most naturally asks the question not, “What explosion created this?” — but your mind most naturally asks the question, “Oh, who left their solid gold Cadillac outside my door?” You say to yourself, “Ah, there is design and order in this complex piece of machinery. It has been designed by someone and someone presumably owns it.”
Decomposing or composing
You certainly don’t come outside your door in the morning and see the solid gold Cadillac sitting there and say, “Ah! This has obviously sprung forth by spontaneous generation from some decomposing substance.” You don’t. People would say, “You’re crazy! You’re crazy!” Things can’t spring forth from some decomposing substance. The thing is either composing or it is decomposing. And if it’s decomposing, it doesn’t create.”
Let’s imagine you are coming outside your door some morning and there you see the solid gold Cadillac. You don’t immediately say, “Ah! That old trick again: the solid gold Cadillac that evolves from a Volkswagen Bug.”
No, you don’t. You know that it cannot evolve from a Volkswagen Bug unless someone has programmed the Bug to evolve. But even then, you’re in great doubt about its ability to evolve. But even if it had evolved, you’d say, “Ah yes, but someone must have built the program of evolution into it rather than a program of decomposition.”
So there’s no question that if you allow your mind to operate as it normally does in everyday affairs, when you come outside and find something outside your door you say, not, “This has been caused by an explosion.” Not, “This has been caused by spontaneous generation.” Not that, “This has evolved from something else.” But you immediately say, “Who put this here?”
Actually, that’s the most natural, spontaneous response of us men and women when we see this beautiful world that you can look out and see this morning. When you see that sky, and the beauty of the sunrise, and you see the branches of the trees beginning to thicken as the buds begin to form, and you can first see what spring will be like, and summer, and you know the order and design that occurs repeatedly year after year, you immediately and naturally say, “Ah! There must be an intelligent mind, something like my own, that is behind all of this — and if there is, He is well able to take care of me if am prepared to love others the way He has loved me.”
TO BE CONTINUED