Self Dependence

Published: Jan, 2018 /



A recent article in The Economist opened with a sad two sentences: “For those who care about a woman’s right to lead her life unmolested, 2017 began badly.  A man accused of groping several women took office in the White House.”Perhaps it has become “politically correct” to hold men to a standard of behavior that in the recent past was overlooked or regarded with shaking head as “boys will be boys.” But, one must concede in polite society such behavior has always been condemned.  A gentleman at least outwardly always respects and honors a lady. So let us not muddle decency and respect with political correctness.

Really this is a symptom of a deeper problem.  Lack of decency in regard to the opposite sex is mainly a male problem, but other symptoms like spite, talking behind another’s back, spreading negative information about a fellow worker or classmate are a disrespect into which both sexes fall.  We try to console ourselves with clichés like “No one is perfect!” But we all know deep down that there is a higher way to live than we do.

Another problem is that that often descends into comparing ourselves with others in which hole we can usually rationalize about our circumstances and come to some conclusions that to our minds sufficiently excuse our failings. Nonetheless we determine to try to do better. “I must remember next time to count to 10 before I answer with anger.” Or, “I must try to think of some nice thing to say to her.”

Eventually in our resolve we realize that we are only dealing with outward things and haven’t really touched the resentment we feel at being passed over or the unfairness we feel in not being acknowledged for what we have contributed.

We can rescue ourselves temporarily from our dark clouds by treating ourselves or getting together with a friend or having a cup of coffee, but we know we are not dealing with the heart of the problem.

Have you ever considered taking it to the one who made you? Perhaps you don’t think anyone made you except your mother and father, who, though they would agree that they had a part in getting you here, would protest that their part didn’t have much to do with actually making you. The fact that you are unique with special gifts and abilities is something far removed from their going through the biology of having a baby. You may have your grandmother’s hair or your uncle’s wit, but you are unique among all the 7 or 8 billion who people this planet and the billions who came before you. There is no one like you and never has been anyone like you and never will be another like you.

In an interesting way you were planned and made inside the son of the creator long before you showed up here on this earth as the child of your parents. You were planned to show up on this earth on your birthday with a whole agenda of things to do in your life that were specially prepared for you to live out. You could live that life spontaneously if you were in tune with his life inside. Part of that guidance was a supernatural thing inside you which we call conscience.

What messed us up was a self that wanted to do things our own way. For you and I both that was freedom, but it was a damning freedom that bound us to pleasing ourselves. In fact it made us slaves to self and rebels against those eternally planned spontaneous acts and words designed to be a blessing to all around.

The good news is that there is a way back. Keep in tune and we will talk more this next time.


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